Straight From The Mind of Callie

I know. Awful right? I can't help it. I try and try to make things work out for me. I am always thinking positively and telling others they need to do so. I bust my butt to make sure that everyone around me is as happy as they deserve to be. But when do I get the chance? Why can I not be as happy as I want to be? Why is my life destined to be crap? I have a man who loves me, 3 amazing children, an awesome family, and amazing friends. I have never been arrested, never killed anyone (although trust me.. if it wasn't illegal or immoral.. lord help 'em). I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, and I very rarely drink. Supposedly God has a plan laid out for all of us, and everything is supposed to happen for a reason. Well I'm starting to think maybe God hates me and sold my soul to the Devil or something. It just seems like nothing works out for me in a good way. One thing after another continues to go wrong. And it's not just minor things anymore.. lately it seems like all the bigger stuff is going wrong.

I know it's awful to say, and in my heart I know its real. But at times I wonder if there really is a God. And if there is... what I ever did to deserve all the crap he's putting me through? Why am I forced to cry myself to sleep everynight wondering when things will get better. Why am I the one to continuously get screwed over?

God. If you're out there, and you're listening. Give me a break. Show me a sign. I'm at my wits end, and I don't know where to turn from here.